“R.S.V.P.”
Text:
Matthew 22:1-14
© January 20, 2008 by C. Edward Bowen at Emanuel
United
I
hope you don’t mind, but I have a favor I want to ask of you. And that favor is this: the next time you’re hosting a party, the
next you’re throwing some big shindig, please, please don’t invite me! It’s nothing personal. And I know that when people invite you to a
party, they’re trying to be nice to you.
But I don’t know if it’s just me, but when I get an invitation to a
party, it stresses me out.
Getting
invited to a party stresses me out because I know that if I accept that
invitation, certain things are going to be expected of me – but I’m never
exactly sure what those expectations are.
For instance, if you’re having a party, what time do you expect me to
show up? Yeah, I know the invitation
says the party starts at
And
then, where do you expect me to park? Am
I supposed to park in your driveway or out on the street? If I park in your driveway, am I going to
block someone in, or is someone else going to end up blocking me in? Or if I park out on the street and end up
finding a spot in front of your neighbor’s house, is your neighbor going to get
mad and come out and hit my car with a hammer while I’m in at your party? When it comes to where I should park, you’ve
got to tell me what you expect me to do.
And what about gifts?
Are you expecting me to bring some kind of present to the party? Yeah, I know the invitation says “No gifts, please,” but I’ve been
to parties before where it said “No gifts, please,” and so I didn’t bring a
gift. But then every other guest showed
up at the door with a present in their hands to give to the host. So if you’re throwing a party, when it comes
to bringing a gift, you’ve got to be honest and tell me – what do you expect? Do you want it wrapped? Because I’m not really good
at wrapping stuff. And does it
have to have a bow on it, because I don’t usually put bows on presents? But if I don’t put a bow on it, are you going
to think less of me? You see, these are
the kinds of things that I need to know if you’re going to invite me to a
party.
And
then, when is the party over? What time
do you expect me to leave? Sometimes I
get the impression that people at a party look at me and think to themselves, “As soon as possible.” But I always get irritated when an invitation
says that the party will be from “
But
probably the biggest question of all is:
what do you expect me to wear?
What kind of clothes should I have on when I come to the party? Should I wear a tie? Are tennis shoes OK? I still remember a party I was invited to
shortly after I first became a minister.
This family invited me to attend the 100th birthday party for
their grandmother. And so, having never
been to a 100th birthday party before, I assumed that it would be a
classy, dignified affair, with maybe 8 or 10 of us gathered around the dining
room table, with the finest china and silverware set before us. And so to fit in with what I expected, I put
on a suit and tie and drove out to their house.
But
when I got out of my car, to my great dismay it turned out that this lady’s 100th
birthday party was not some classy, dignified affair. Instead there were about 50 people out in the
front yard with shorts and t-shirts on, playing catch and barbequing
hamburgers. Now, I certainly don’t have
anything against playing catch or barbequing hamburgers, but when I looked at
what I had on – with my freshly pressed suit, my carefully tied tie, and my
black wing-tip shoes – and what they all had on, I thought to myself, “Rats!” And for a couple moments, I gave serious
consideration to sneaking back into my car, hoping that no one had seen me, and
just going back home.
But
before I knew it, it was too late as someone called out, “Hi there,
Reverend!” And I’ll never forget
this: this one fellow leaned over to the
person next to him and said in a voice loud enough so that I could hear,
“Ministers – they never know what to wear!”
OK, I admit it. If you’re having
a party, I don’t know what I should wear.
On the invitation, draw me a picture of what you want me to look
like. I’d really appreciate that. But somehow, tell me what you expect.
The
truth is that every time we accept an invitation, there are certain things that
are expected of us. It’s like it always
says at the bottom of an invitation – R.S.V.P.
And those letters, R.S.V.P., of course, are the abbreviation for the
French words respondez sil vous plait, or in English, “Respond, please.” When your host asks you to R.S.V.P. to their
invitation, they’re asking you to respond to it. And your host hopes that you’ll respond to
that invitation not just by calling them up and telling them that you’ll be there,
but your host also hopes that you’ll respond to that invitation by actually
showing up and living up to the expectations that your host has for you.
Here
in this parable that we listened to today in the Gospel of Matthew, a king was
throwing a party. You see, his son was
getting married, and so the king was hosting the biggest wedding reception
anyone had ever seen. It was going to be
the social event of the season. And so,
as people do when they’re having a party, the king sent out his invitations
well in advance and asked people to R.S.V.P.
And they all did. Everyone said
they were coming.
And
so on the day of the party, they hauled into the banquet hall a huge ice
sculpture of a swan, a wedding cake with seven tiers on it, a
chocolate fountain. And the caterer
began to set out the roast beef, the ham, and all kinds of delicious
delicacies. And when everything was just
about ready, the king sent his servants out to inform his guests that the time
had arrived, the time had come for them to respond to the invitation he had
given them and come and share in the party.
But
as the servants went out and told the guests that the king was now summoning
them, one by one all of the people who had been invited, and who had said that
they were going to come, made up excuses and bailed out on the king’s
party. One fellow said that he couldn’t
go to the party because he had to cut his toenails that night. Another guest said she couldn’t go because
she had a ping-pong tournament to go to.
And another guest said he couldn’t go because there was a “Gilligan’s
What
was he going to do, the king thought to himself. Already the ice sculpture of the swan was
starting to melt, the slices of cake were beginning to dry out, and the green
beans were getting soggy. And any minute
his son and his new bride were going to come into the banquet hall, and how
were they going to feel if no one was there for their party?
And
so right away the king ordered his servants to hurry out into the streets and
to invite everyone they could find to come to the party. It didn’t matter who they were. It didn’t matter what they were like. Just invite them, the king said. And so the servants did just that. They went out and invited anyone and everyone
they could find. And within about a half
hour the banquet hall was filled to overflowing with guests.
And
so when the king walked into the hall, he was thrilled by what he saw. There was a group over here having a limbo
contest. Another group over there was
laughing and telling stories. And
everyone was having a wonderful time – everyone, that is, except for this one
fellow.
You
see, when you get invited to a wedding reception you’re expected to dress a
certain way. Nowadays, for instance, men
are generally expected to wear a suit and tie to a wedding reception, and women
are expected to wear a dress or at least some sort of outfit that looks nice. Because to not do that, to
not dress appropriately for a wedding reception, is really a kind of insult to
your host. It’s a way of saying
“I don’t care about your party, and I don’t care about you.”
And
the same was true back in Jesus’ day.
Although they didn’t have tuxedos and formal gowns back then, there was
a certain kind of clothing that was expected to be worn at a wedding banquet,
what our reading here in Matthew calls a “wedding robe.” And everyone there at the king’s party had a
wedding robe on – everyone, that is, except for one guy who was sitting by
himself at table over in the corner.
Instead of having on a wedding robe, he was wearing cut-off jeans,
sandals, and a t-shirt advertising his favorite brand of beer.
And
so the king marched right up to that guy and said, “Hey, mac! Hey, buddy!
What is your problem? What are
you trying to pull, coming in here dressed like that?” And so the king whistled for the royal
bouncers to hustle over, and they took that guy and tossed him out into the
street.
Now,
what are we to make of that story?
Wasn’t the king maybe a tad bit harsh on that guy? After all, maybe he didn’t own a wedding
robe. But the way the story is told,
with the king sending his servants out into the streets and bringing all those
people into the party on the spur of the moment like that, most likely none of
those people went home and got dressed.
There wasn’t time for that. No,
probably what the parable is implying is that the king provided his guests with
those wedding robes. As the guests
stepped through the door, the royal valet probably handed each person an
appropriate wedding robe to put on and pointed them in the direction of the changing
rooms. And everyone went along and did
that, because they understood that that was what was expected of people who
accepted an invitation to a wedding banquet – everyone did that, that is,
except for that one fellow.
And
so the problem was that that particular fellow didn’t R.S.V.P. He didn’t respond to the king’s
invitation. Yes, he responded to the
extent that he showed up and sat down at a table. But he refused to fully respond, to allow
himself to be changed to what his host, the king, expected of him.
What
this parable invites us to do, I believe, is to consider whether we’ve R.S.V.P.’d to our king, whether we have responded to
God. Sure, all of us here have responded
to the extent that we’ve shown up, we’re here at church,
we’re sitting in the pews. But have we
fully responded to God? Have we allowed
ourselves to be changed to the way that God expects us to be?
When
it comes to what we do with our lives, when it comes to what we do with our
time, are we R.S.V.P.-ing to God? When it comes to what we do with our lives,
when it comes to what we do with our time, are we responding to God in such a
way so that instead of focusing merely on what we expect out of life, we’re
focusing on what God expects out of us in life?
Are
we R.S.V.P.-ing to God, are we responding to God, by
making the effort to develop a relationship with God? God is there inviting us to God’s party,
inviting us to be God’s people. And so
God expects us to come and get to know God.
Are we doing that? Are we making
prayer, Bible reading, and worship the kinds of priorities in our lives that
God expects?
Or
when it comes to our money, when it comes to what we do with our possessions,
are we R.S.V.P.-ing to God? When it comes to our money, when it comes to
what we do with our possessions, are we responding to God in such a way that instead
of concentrating simply on our own wants and desires, we’re concentrating on
those things that God expects us to be doing?
You’re
invited. We’re all invited. We’re all invited to come and be God’s
people. That’s the message that God has
for us. The question is: do we accept that invitation? Because if we do, we need to respond to that
invitation not just with our words, but we need to respond to that invitation with
our very lives – with all that we are and with all that we have. After all, that’s the kind of R.S.V.P.,
that’s the kind of response, that God expects.